I told my mother I was considering staying on another month, if I find no job to go to, with my current program — the summer ends a few days after my lease does, but I feel like it would be better for them to have someone familiar help lead them into the new school year, especially since much of my focus with them is on homework and tutoring during school months, than for me to leave and “let a chapter close” with the end of the summer programming. I came during the school year and instilled some good attitudes and habits, that’s how I want to go.
My mother asked, “What are you doing with your degree?”
She expressed that she is worried that I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
She is concerned that I am “wasting the degree [I] worked so hard for.”
I told her that I don’t know what more she wants from me if no one hires me, that it was a short-term, potential, if-all-other-things-don’t-work-out decision — she is convinced that I am going to “work a part time job for the rest of [my] life.”
And I hate to admit it, but that attitude has been looming as I search and apply for jobs, as I try to make life decisions, and when I go into work every morning and come home every night.
It is not a good feeling, and I don’t know how to get rid of it.